Pitching emotions;

Everything since to go back to the past today, but it hadn't at all.

I had my pitching today and this the 2nd semester already. It just feels that everything had gone back to the past like how we do our pitching when we first entered College East.

I did my best for the documents I prepared already, but sadly I was not chosen to be a director as Mr.Dominic didn't select mine. But I knew that Mr.Boi was rather interested in my story. He ever told me personally that he really love my story and the way he looks at me today and hopes that I got in. It's the eye contact he's giving that's telling me he's supporting me. Sometimes you don't have to say out loud to let the person know something, it the eye contact that's telling everything. Even after I pitched mine, he said 'This is a sad story ah, the premier of this story is good.' He said that to the class, I somehow think he wants us and Mr.Dominic to agree with him as he wants my story to work out.

Unfortunately, he was not the major lecturer that can really help. Mr. Dominic was still the one. I don't want to lie about this but yes, I am disappointed that I couldn't get in to be a director. But this doesn't matter anymore because I did my best already, no matter what the result is, I will accept the truth and do better in future. And the support that Mr.Boi gave me, I'm really lost in words though he didn't really help that much. I somehow feel like going to him and say 'Thanks for giving me your support" but that too impossible! He'll surely feel weird when I go to him in this manner, he'll feel exposed.

After completed all of our pitching's, we went for a break and after the break and result of chosen 6 directors will be out. They choose 5 directors first and the last one will compete with the people with MC's. So yeah, there may be hope for me.

Moreover, I certainly really really felt things had went back to the past, and my mind was like picturing how was it like in the previous semester. Just out of a blue I turned my head to the left and saw the previous semester director's standing at the sides choosing teammates, and me feeling extremely down when I was not chosen by someone I really hope to group with, well I was not chosen by him. When a group picked me my heart sank immediately because it was too late, he didn't choose me and the other group wants me in already. I can't reject them too because they were the directors. I even felt like crying though it's just a small matter. I can totally feel the emotions even now if I think back.

I feel like my inner heart is going to crumble down.

I keep missing you. Especially when I'm keeping myself so busy and once I got tired and decide to rest you'll appear right infront of my head.

But no worries I will let these feelings fade away

.. I will.