babies.

Salmon.

Salmon gave birth to babies today. But she ate all of them and left with 1 surviving.

She doesn't seems to accept the fact she a mother right now without even looking after the baby she had! :@

EDIT: Babies ALL pronounce dead. Eaten by mother can! :(

A day out, east coast park.

Hello all!

A trip to East Coast Park and Geylang Serai for supper with my friend Ann Li.

Seriously besides her I really have no really close friend left.

Even Yu Le is currently enjoying her new life with her first boyfriend,

so it's like obviously she wouldn't have much time with me anymore,

and I wouldn't disturb her hectic life!

Alright, back to topic!

I met my friend at Tampines MRT and headed down to East Coast Park!

She took a random shot of me when I was sitting like this!

I decided to stand up ..!

and sat over here instead -.-

Once we reached out destination, I rented out the rollerblade and that's my very first time skating! But it was a really horrible experience! As a beginner, my job just merely seems to be screaming and shouting as I can't balance myself, and that seriously caught too too too much attention. Everyone was looking at me screaming all the way and even start laughing. I was not being exaggerating by screaming and such, it just come out from me and I've no idea why I just can't keep my mouth shut when people was all looking and laughing at me. At that very moment I just hope I could shut up but myself just won't listen to me :( I was worse than a 5 years old kid in skating. GAWD.

I even went to a pole direction that's heading the grass area and I knew I was going to bang on it in no time, but I just can't stop the blade, so end up I fell down just to prevent banging to the solid pole!

The most outrageous part was I can't even lift my legs up! I'm just dreadfully frighten and afraid, so you can just imagine the scenario's like -.-

I also caught plenty of attention man! -.- I even saw people laughing badly at me and hearing me screaming at the top of my voice. I fell down plenty of times! And some guy passerby's would just help me up. I was lucky! 3 guys helped me in different locations! And the other one even thought me some rollerblading skills!

There are really more good people than bad people in the world! I was actually quite grateful of those guys who helped me up, the rest was laughing so badly and didn't bother to help, the people who helped me up didn't looked down on me or even scared to approach me as they will be in a laughing stock too.

After all these horrendous experience, my friend and I headed to the Macdonalds to cool ourselves down.

Can you see my exhausted and worn out face??

It's was damn tiring ok!

And we went down to the beach to enjoy the breeze!

Can you see it? It's the moon and it's really beautiful!

It's rounded and it just seems it's glowing.

How nice if I can always see such clear moon always, my house area just doesn't seems to appear such beautiful moon often, as the cloud are always covering it up -.-

Then we went over to Marade Parade for ice shaving after a warm and super drained day!

And down to Geylang Sarai for supper!

hahaha!

Day ends here.

A video of me and my dog. Done in mum's office

I made this video when I was in my mum's office. Bored max can!

Hope you guys enjoy watching! I spend 2 hours or less to shoot and edit this video in a new software I just learn; FCP.

I can't continue making because my laptop battery was near flat and I had to shut down in case it became an improper one!

ENJOY! ^^

In any case you can't watch the video, you can also simply go to this link to watch it!

Click here to watch the video if you can't watch it on my blog

bye!

yesterday

My clique! But Ann Li is not inside, as she was late...... again!

Click on the picture to have a larger view :)

I was really very happy yesterday as I have enjoyed the fun so much! I was also bloated after our picnic. We also played a few fun games like, truth or dare, chubby bunny, eating sticks mouth to mouth to see who can eat the majority of it but there also a risk that their mouth's would touch each other (pss! a guy and guy accidentally kissed while doing this as someone pushed one of their heads! hahaha!) and pranking people, some of us lined up on the walking pavement far apart from each other and kept aiming the same person asking them 'where is the toilet?' for like few times! LOL we were laughing insanely, it's damn hilarious!

After all the enjoyments we had, we headed over to Max's house area for ice shaving! It's delicious and cooling after a warm and tiring day! And some of the guys went to print the group photo that we took. (At above)

Thanks to Aaron in our class, he gave me 2 photos of this without asking me to pay him for it! Thank you so much! :) he's always such a nice friend to everyone.

got to write down to make myself feel better.

Shovin and my 4 hamsters accompanying me in my room after the quarrel with my Dad.

Shovin

Top left: Golden

Top right: Pearl

Bottom left: Winter

Bottom right: Salmon

Bad day! :@

I quarrel with my Dad. ): Basically, it started with him and it's just a small matter. We were having our lunch on the dining table and my seat was leaning against the wall, (last night my dad pushed the table towards the wall so my seat now is quite squeezy the one chair leaning against the wall), so today when we're eating our lunch I felt kinda squeezy so I said could we push the table a little? Here very squeezy. My dad vehemently said NO. So I asked why no? But here very cramp! So i pushed the table myself and to my surprise he push back in a second after I pushed some space for myself. What is his problem! I said it's squeezy already. And then he said DON'T PUSH THE TABLE LATER THE WALKING PATH HAVE NO SPACE. Please la, there is no big elephant in our house, furthermore there are space for even 2 person to walk together, he's just literally giving excuses for me not pushing out.

So I got angry and pushed the table again to give space for myself and I said that here was really very squeezy and we start quarreling. In fact, the space I had was indeed squeezy, I can't even move my body towards the table and had some space, it was just sit right in the seat and table right in front of me, obviously I'll push the table out to give myself more space right!

We started quarreling about space and the walkways, I told him to try sitting my seat and he'll know and started saying why should he and stuff and began to have a long silents. Out of a blue my dad told me later we're go BBQ you don't eat my thing and I was like quite shock, we were not even talking about this topic and he went to talk about that. I knew his is going to be war, he wanted to fight back so I told him that all the food for BBQ he's not the one paying but Mum instead.[So it like not his food, he didn't pay for it] He knew he lost for this so he changed the topic again and told me next time he won't buy for my things and don't use his too, lol he's damn childish right. Nevermind, so I said 'Don't use then don't use la and I won't even use your thing cmon.' Then he start talking about those supplements and Aloe Vera Gel in the fringe also don't eat or drink because it's all his.

Look, he is so outrageous. We were just talking about pushing out for me to have space and he begun to talk all these. I got quite pissed off of what he tries to bring up those things when we're not even talking about that. So I fight him back with a sentence, I said 'Don't ever ask me to take over your business anymore in future because I won't and I won't do it, I say this first, I am NOT interested in taking over and not interested continue expanding your business."

Immediately, I walked off and went in the room with a watery eyes because of what he said and bring up. I have 7 hamsters but I am with my 4 hamsters now [Salmon, Winter, Golden, Pearl] and my dog [Shovin] in the room, they are accompanying me.

V shaped fringe.

Oh dear!

I just trimmed my fringe in a V shaped shape once I thought of a cool hairstyle without thinking of the consequences. Sometimes I'm a little too harsh. Now I'm envisaging how am I going to face the people in school because the feeling is gonna be like people start pointed at you, eyes looking at you, whispering to among their friends about you unless you're a superstar to them then's alright. But I think I'm not anyway, so with my this fringe I'm probably really going to get into unnecessary attention now. But who cares! What have been done can't be mended so I'll have to face it! =)

Jiayou jiayou gogo! Don't be scared because of something new have happen.

What if I bring up that V shaped fringe trend?!

Who knows lol!

I like people who sees potential in me.

Sup!

There's so much to say. Plenty of things had happen within the past few weeks. Ups and downs mood swings. Even being ill till now and such but nevertheless time waits for us. In a snap, I have also joined a production group outside, someone approached me 2 to 3 days ago and asked me to join them. But well I will keep myself shush until everything is more settle down. We're still in a period of setting up this small production. I bet this can really help me from my future portfolio. Thumbs up!

Hope everything goes fine! I want to put in the best of my effort and seize all opportunity I can get. I'm aiming really really hard on my course now as that's my future road to begin with. Especially when my Mum and Dad told me how tired they are, I'm more wanting to lead a good life in future.

humble.

You don't have to tell others how good you are, others will realise it themselves and come to you. Especially people who labelled themselves as true, loyal, trustworthy or whatever bullshits. They called themselves so 'perfectly' but we come to the world to find an imperfect person perfectly. If you're saying you're oh so perfect, it just scares people off. Since you're so perfect then I don't even think I am worth you in the first place. If you're so great and perfect, why aren't you getting things you wanted?

You know what you are, but you don't have to go around telling the whole world how good are you, it just shows too much weakness within you and people will just look down on your words. You live for yourself and not boasting yourself to others. It's like covering up your fears and weakness because you're unconfident. Things will be slowly discovered by others and not you tell the whole piece of junk when it just mean nothing to them. You judge yourself in this way but people will also judge you in a different way whether it's good or bad. But once you boast about yourself, it's just a bad impression and people may think otherwise.

Don't judge a book by it's cover.

But you're letting others to judge you at it's cover and not inside the book.

Don't ever think you're so great because you can never rule the world. Rule yourself instead.

Bottle ups

Sad. Mood swing. Can't sleep. Upset. Don't feel like talking. Cold. Hoping thing's goes right. Down. Vomiting. Diarrhea. Tired. Shiver. Head just feels heavy. Confuse. Restless. Suffocating. Depress. Feels like collapsing anytime. Gloomy. Heart aching. Thinking about how you're feeling right now. Giddy. Worrying. High fever. Miserable. Distress. Tired.

It's 5 am now and I still can't get to bed to take a rest even I'm having high fever right now. Does anyone know how do I really feel ): It's uncomfortable.. I feel so unwell yet at the same time thinking of how is he now. I do wish he's feeling better and alright now, he must have endure more than me feeling all these. Cheer up! Tomorrow will be a better day!

God

bless

you.

You gotta pretend you don't bother, but you do.

Seeing you in this state just upsets me even though I'm feeling awfully unwell now.

Even I'm feeling so unwell now I still think how are you and hopes you're feeling well too as you're feeling down, and when I do It just stresses my mind and my condition gets worsen. I'm not attending school tomorrow, I'M NOT BLAMING HIM, is just myself. My condition got worsen.

I don't know how to make you feel better, because some people dislike others to ask about their problems as it just makes them think back about what happened again.

When you care, you can't show you do. When you care, you pretend you don't bother. When you care, you just silently stand by the side and when he finally turns to you, you'll help as much as you could.

Is not that I'm not taking the initiative, it's because of what we are now and the reason why I don't approach you is because I don't even know how you're feeling, AND IF I DO APPROACH, all you do is stress as you need to relate the whole story to me again and tell me how you're feeling. You'll feel tired. And I think for now is just to be alone perhaps..

BE HAPPY!

2 types of humankind.

There's a total huge difference between people who annoys and disturbs.

There is 2 type of people in the world in my perception.

A person who annoys you is they'll pester you and keep doing things until they get it without showing mercy and you'll feel harassed and being uncomfortable with them. To the extend that makes you feel like avoiding them. A person who disturb is just people that tries to get your attention and make you laugh. :D

meowmeow~

Don't let someone be your priority when they're just an option.

Being happy now or being happy in the future makes no difference, so be happy now and smile!

Today is really a great day to rest, I've been sleeping all day long and I even passed my dinner hours just for the sake of sleeping. Hahahaha! Anyway I just had supper and I'm bloated! *burp* Superb! Currently, I'm not wearing my spectacle as it always slip down -urgh-, so I'm putting my face closer to the laptop just to type this and surf the net.

I'm certainly looking very forward for the family BBQ outing on August 8th! It's gonna be fun especially knowing that you're spending time with your dearest closest people, doesn't it makes it so special? TERRIFIC!

Anyhow, I will be keeping myself busy and live life to the fullest! Moreover, I kind of forgot someone was actually something for quite sometime already. Once I thought about it, it's just a total disaster)': ohwell though I can't believe my eyes and the truth but it's must be true.

Bye peeps! :D

I want to.

I wish everything can start anew.

If only I'm suffering from Amnesia now things may be different.

I want to migrate and I don't want to see anymore familiar faces so that I will forget the troubles and burdens..

Promise.

Happy girl!

I'm elated that I was assigned to be a video editor today when the director chooses me among the many people to be an editor. I will definitely do my very best in editing and make our film turns out the best! Gogo Shandis! :D

Weeee! Ganbatte! =)

just being straight forward.

It's feeling of when you do not wish to see that person, the feeling of you'll be feeling uncomfortable when that person is around, the feeling of when the person sits, you feel like standing up and walk off immediately, the feeling of you don't even want to trust the person or even trying to, the feeling of even losing that person it doesn't matter to you, the feeling of you don't even want to take any glance from that person, the feeling of you don't even feel like replying any of the messengers or text by that person, the feeling of you feel he's beginning to be more annoying than before, the feeling of you just simply dislike that person to talk to you even though it's just a short one, the feeling of don't even want to hear his sickening voice.

The feeling you feel the person is too thick-skined that makes you disgusted, the feeling of what that person says make you feel like covering your ears, the feeling of that person acts like somebody else, the feeling of the person pretends to be in the 'wanted' position, the feeling of you just find that person gross to the max and full stop. THE FEELING OF YOU WISHES THAT PERSON TO.. 'WANT LEAVE THEN LEAVE, WANT GO THEN GO, DON'T ACT BEING SOMEBODY, ANYBODY OR ANYTHING THAT IS JUST NOT YOU, YOU'RE JUST BEING A PAIN IN AN ASS, IN THAT CASE IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE ME TALKING TO A BARBIE DOLL THAN YOU.'

I'M SO DISGUSTED, that's the only word I can refer for now.

I have been keeping all these for like a weeks or so already, I seriously need to write out.

Peace '-'

What i wished before is now becoming reality.

There is something I always wished to happen. And it happened just now, just that everything can never go back to the past, and everything will be different. Even if things changed now or it doesn't I probably will be too tired for all these. I used to be suffocating, but now it's slowly calming down.

Just, smile.

Tomorrow will always be a better day and it will!

If someone is being hated by others, you shouldn't hate them more.

I really hope that Fal is alright. I really do really hope. I don't know if I am the only one that is feeling this way, but I just see loneliness in her eyes. And this kind of things happened to her, it just upsets me. Though I may not be as close to her than before but I know if one day she's alone again, I will still go to her, talk to her, stay until she finds a new clique or she decides to come to me instead. I won't leave her alone, just that she got her own clique now and I got mine too. Actually, I wanted her to join our clique but because there are members in my clique that doesn't really likes her, I don't want both parties to feel uncomfortable.

I always feel myself in a difficult position, who should I help? Or I should stand there do nothing? I really have no idea. But I'm always standing for justice, no matter what and who you are. It's probably true about people said I have a compassionate heart, I don't know.

I have my own inner thoughts that will never share with others.

slowly.

Our friendship is slowly drifting apart unknowingly.

I did fucking put myself in your shoes, you think I didn't? I knew if I were you I will find time for myself, I knew if I were you I will do my research as I don't understand the topic, I knew if I were you I won't drag the deadline as I know there is a limitation of deadline, I know if I were you I will do my best. What about you? You didn't. So now your part-time work is worth more than our group work?! I hate when you put money in such high priority. When I am in need urgently, where were you? You ask yourself.

You always said you don't have the time for this and that, and I really hate it when you start to malign me for not telling you what to do what I said I need you to find pictures of Going Green? And you fucking put yourself into a pathetic state like I didn't tell you. Stop acting blur, even in class you don't even listen what the lecturers said, when I ask you something your reply is always 'I don't know.' I just missed out the part he said, and obviously you will turn to your friends and ask right?

You said I act like I was so pity, seriously you think for yourself, YOU DID NOTHING, YOU DIDN'T CONTRIBUTED. And yes I was pity, I didn't act like I was one. Honestly, you just think for yourself. You don't even reflect on your words. YOU ALWAYS SAY I DON'T PUT MYSELF IN YOUR SHOES, BUT I DID. WHAT ABOUT YOU? Did you?

Even my friend knows I slept late just to do the video editing, stayed up to late midnight and stuff. YOU DID'T EVEN DO EDITING BEFORE, YOU KNOW HOW TIRING ANOT FOR A NEW SOFTWARE NEEDS TO BE LEARN AND DONE. I want to do my best so i stayed up late, watched youtube videos and learns those tutorials. And there you go that thought I was so free. I endure much more than you, what you do is money money money, shopping shopping shopping. You take money higher than what is need to be done first. What can you see other than money for your shoppings. You know the deadline is very tight yet you still go for your part-time job and come here complaining you don't have the time.

I didn't know you posted such a thing on your blog, so i decide to post mine too. Our friendship is slowly drifting apart. I don't want to lose you as a friend but I will let nature take it course. What needs to be happened will happen. ): I'm too tired keeping and trying to secure this friendship any longer when someone just thinks I'm unfair.

I feel like ..

crying.

Wrote this in school.

Start thinking about others and put yourself into their shoes, that's the way of life. If you hadn't started yet, you heaven't started living.

I really wonder why some people are so selfish. They leave the whole lot of chunk for a people to do for them yet not even doing tasks assigned by them for group work. Or not they will just give an overdue work like the work is already completed when people told her that already, and she immediately wants to put in fake efforts, starting doing her work. And I was thinking, she starting researching the work when the work is already done?! They are just showing yes they want to help too but it’s too late, they just simply wants people’s sympathy like they did help in the ending just that was too late. And people will think they did really want to help but just that it's too late and their work went down the drain already, They are just putting fake effort for the sake of it.

And when people told them the work was irrelevant they get angry and say yes their work is rubbish and stuff and even dared them to delete her work in a rude and threatening manner when the person didn't even said anything except her work was irrelevant to the topic only. She should just accept it and improve on it. In fact it is true that her work was indeed irrelevant, she didn’t even do their research and get angry with them. Who is at most fault? Her work was indeed crappy. People completed her work without any of her help and she said this is not even group work as the person did everything without her help. This person didn’t even reflected on her own words, she just give overdue work and stuff, of course the friend didn’t want to die in the same boat with her, she found everything by herself. It’s just no point forcing someone who doesn’t wants to work. What she does is complain, but did she do her part when she was assigned? No, she didn’t. Her own words should be saying herself and not her friend instead.

What she does is sit there, do nothing and said what is group work when we didn’t do together? Please la, people gave you tasks already, but you didn’t do. Eventually, the person has to complete everything by herself and listen to her complaining about this is not group work at all. What a joke. I dislike the feeling of being taken for granted.

She should just ask herself what have she done to that friend? Who gave in more? And other than work, who gave in more too? She didn’t even know that friend was picked by others to work with a more potential group, but she rejected the request and joined her, as she knows she will be alone if she doesn’t help her. And what? Her irresponsible actions indirectly bullied that friend.

Yes, and I am the girl who did all the work and that she a friend of mine whom did nothing nor contributed to the group.

Tomorrow is our deadline for the assignment and I asked her lets go buy the disc now to burn our video editing inside as we need to hand up tomorrow. And you know what she said? She said later, but I didn’t want to because later and now makes no difference so I went to buy myself instead so we can do it immediately.

Unluckily, I bought the wrong discs, we need to buy DVD not CD. And got scolded by her for buying the wrong one. Today I left my wallet at home, so I didn’t have any money to school. And also when I asked her to buy disc she keep complaining she no money too. It's only a dollar coin. WTH IS THIS?!

Why can’t she just bloody reflect on what she did? Who is unfair? Who did all the work and she contributed nothing and only complained? Who always put in good words when people said behind her back they didn’t like her at all? Who always gave in more? I bet all these she doesn’t know at all. She should just reflect on her own actions.

Don't bother saying sorry if you won't make a change. Because I'm sick and tired of hearing your empty words. Words that never meant to be one.

Pitching emotions;

Everything since to go back to the past today, but it hadn't at all.

I had my pitching today and this the 2nd semester already. It just feels that everything had gone back to the past like how we do our pitching when we first entered College East.

I did my best for the documents I prepared already, but sadly I was not chosen to be a director as Mr.Dominic didn't select mine. But I knew that Mr.Boi was rather interested in my story. He ever told me personally that he really love my story and the way he looks at me today and hopes that I got in. It's the eye contact he's giving that's telling me he's supporting me. Sometimes you don't have to say out loud to let the person know something, it the eye contact that's telling everything. Even after I pitched mine, he said 'This is a sad story ah, the premier of this story is good.' He said that to the class, I somehow think he wants us and Mr.Dominic to agree with him as he wants my story to work out.

Unfortunately, he was not the major lecturer that can really help. Mr. Dominic was still the one. I don't want to lie about this but yes, I am disappointed that I couldn't get in to be a director. But this doesn't matter anymore because I did my best already, no matter what the result is, I will accept the truth and do better in future. And the support that Mr.Boi gave me, I'm really lost in words though he didn't really help that much. I somehow feel like going to him and say 'Thanks for giving me your support" but that too impossible! He'll surely feel weird when I go to him in this manner, he'll feel exposed.

After completed all of our pitching's, we went for a break and after the break and result of chosen 6 directors will be out. They choose 5 directors first and the last one will compete with the people with MC's. So yeah, there may be hope for me.

Moreover, I certainly really really felt things had went back to the past, and my mind was like picturing how was it like in the previous semester. Just out of a blue I turned my head to the left and saw the previous semester director's standing at the sides choosing teammates, and me feeling extremely down when I was not chosen by someone I really hope to group with, well I was not chosen by him. When a group picked me my heart sank immediately because it was too late, he didn't choose me and the other group wants me in already. I can't reject them too because they were the directors. I even felt like crying though it's just a small matter. I can totally feel the emotions even now if I think back.

I feel like my inner heart is going to crumble down.

I keep missing you. Especially when I'm keeping myself so busy and once I got tired and decide to rest you'll appear right infront of my head.

But no worries I will let these feelings fade away

.. I will.

You're probably wrong.

I'm totally speechless.

Speechless, speechless..

Never do I want to let others know the truth and accept the fact but I will slowly do it and ..

I WILL, I MUST, I HAD TO, I NEED TO.

I'm being a more stronger person now, a even more stronger person than I could ever imagine, but I'm still the same. I even hesitate to write this post as I no longer want to show others anymore weakness within me.

I will take away this weeping heart.

The sun is slowly beginning to set over the lake, I took a glance at my reflection in the water. My outside have changed drastically within the past few months, but the water reflected the true me. Inside I'm still the same person..

I'm .. still speechless.

I don't feel like talking..

to anyone.

An irony birthday?

Happy Birthday Daddyy!(:

I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH COUNTLESS! :DD

How irony today is my dad's birthday and my friend's dad birthday too! Coincidently, even our birthday falls on the same date too! On the 13th, but different month. I'm November 13th, she is February 13th. Wow, hers is the beginning of the first 2 months(Feb), mine is the last 2 months(Nov). HAHAH

She is also one of my closest friend.

Here is a picture of my friend and I.

Cheers babe! (Y)

Sicko.

A guy recently just added me on Facebook and I'm so disgusted.

His english .. "so power"

He's like in his late 40's or 50's already from his almost botak hair and face.

This guy must be some sicko, so old already still hong chabo ._.

Immediately I just closed his chat, didn't bother to entertain him much.

what are you.

I believe everyone have their own true self deep within themselves.

Many may see me as some cheerful-apple but deep inside I am a quiet person. I have my own curious imaginative mind. I can't stop drawing, I can't stop decorating.

That's just me.

Judge me good or bad, up to you. I don't give a damn.

People talks about you when they're just jealous.

Rain or shine, I still rock.

I detest people say that they didn’t want to take picture with you because you are too chio and chio people wants to take picture with ugly people so they can stand out more. Frankly what's the problem with her? I take pictures with all of my friends as if she assumes I only take pictures with her. I really hate it when I didn’t meant I want to take picture with you and you have concept I want to take pictures with you because to make myself gorgeous. Seriously what da fug?

I am referring to one of my girlfriend in secondary school. I thought she didn’t thought it in this way until she told me about this. I feel very heartbreaking that she’ll judge me in this way. After hearing all these I feel damn guilty about her words although I didn’t have the thoughts of all these in the beginning but she was feeling all these that makes me feel bad.

And whenever I dress-up she says I’m ugly and stuff. This is more whattafuck. As if she dressed any better than me with a damn shorts and singlet and go shopping in Bugis. What a joke I wear uglier than her?! I wouldn't judge my friends on what they wear, but that's what she judge me, I'll judge her back.

Honestly when people talks about you, they are just jealous of the way you are. That’s just my own thinking, continue talking me, no matter what, with you or not, I still shine. You can’t change me because you ain’t worth. Jealously is the biggest crime but please reflect on your own words girl, you have just changed my perception towards you from your own words.

Missed the last train.

Sup,

I miss the damn last train again. Is really outrageous that the MRT transport last trains ends at 11.30pm only. Shouldn’t it be at least 12am or so? 11.30pm is way too early, just imagine the working adults, businessmen and teenagers who loves to shop and had to rush back to the MRT station to fear that they may miss the last train. Just visualise it, you’ll need to leave the place at 11pm take bus, walk, whatever and you’ll arrive at the MRT station at about 11.30pm already! Is damn early c’mon when you need to leave at 11pm? Wth?!

Anyway my mum is waiting for me in Clementi interchange as I fucking missed the last train that just left. However, I got the best mum, I asked her whether could she pick me up at Clementi Interchange she immediately said sure without even complaining or reprimand me on the phone asking me why I came back so late.

She didn’t nag on the line, because probably she knew I really need her help and she just want to help without asking until maybe she fetch me and see me in person first. Because is damn annoying to hear people nag at you when you’re on the line with them.

Anyway, I am home now. I was pretty surprise or rather not she didn’t nag at me absolutely when she picked me up from Clementi Interchange. Yes, only sometimes she would, not all the time. I really got the best mum honestly, but I may be the worse daughter): Playing truant, lying, and putting blames on her at times saying she was unfair.

If you will to ask me who will I choose between anyone else, my answer will always be my Mum. Not even my lover can be compared. And for the mumbo jumbo sake, people who always ask ‘if your lover and your mum jump down the sea, who will you save?’ I TELL YOU, MY ANSWER IS I WILL SAVE MY MUM. Get it?! And I’ll probably jump down to die with you.

Alright?], that’s it.

humanity.

Why do we have to drive in to do for the reason that the society transforming into? In such environment you can barely take a break and you must always be on your toes lest someone overtakes you.

Do you know how tiring when you only have 3 to 4 hours of sleep everyday just because you want to make time for yourself since there is no time no be made during the evenings and even nights? And first in the early morning you gotta wake up to go school when you heaven't had an adequate amount of sleep yet.

You endure this for numerous years already, don't you just feel worn-out and drained? The worse objective is you can't get up from bed and having your parents to nag at you, damn teachers started calling, they called your parents for you not attending school today. And your parents get stress and pressurise. Immediately, they reach home from work, nag at you again, don't they even know how tiring we are to?

Can't we just have a damn break? Just a little will do. We are humans too, not robots nor machineries. We also yearn for what we want and not being forced of what we have an aversion to.

We know what's right and what't wrong, why do adults always think we don't? Sometime the innocents just see more than people who endure much in life as they have gone through too much that even thoughts, care, trust and integrity has vanish into the world of evil. Eventually, trust, kindness, sympathy, mercy, charity and respect is slowly going to be extinct. Why can't we make a difference, if only humanity is willing to change.

what comes around goes around.

I believe I make the right move and choices to forget someone.

I'm probably quite determining on this, I absolutely didn't even mention his name after my decision was made, it's just like a miracle.

Though sometimes I thought of him a little but because of my busy schedule and I will prefer enjoying with my friends than thinking of him now, his like fading away in my mind and heart already. I even forbid people who tries to mention his name infront of me as I'm still in the midst of forgetting and letting him go. So it's like I certainly want to forget him and do it at all cost from protecting myself from any harms.

It is not that I can simply let down and give up without doubts, is that whether is he still worth it or not, if a person doesn't have feelings for you and you keep clinging on, then what's the point? In actual fact, I didn't even make much move to prove my love for him, he did more than I do even though his intention may not be 'loving me' whatsoever.

Unless the person turns back, or not this will eventually just be a question mark that what's gonna happen between us. But to me, this question mark has no longer be one but an answer of we'll just be friends since that's most likely your wish, or rather my wish now too since that is what I have to do.

I'm gonna live for myself without looking back any longer. (Y)

look into my eyes.

Look into my eyes.

What do you see in me?

Sometimes people see the perfections in you, but do they even know the weakness within you?

Yearning and hoping for something.

My world is not black and white but it is quiet.

If you say you really know me,

you won't be afraid to show me, what is in your eyes.

Looks into my eyes.

Now what do you see again?

Laughters that hide my fears and emotions.

Fake a frown you hurt others, fake a smile you hurt yourself.

world of reality.

What is your desire? What do you want to develop in to?

How did it go from here to there? Your best pals know the most about you but they may also be the one that is doing shits behind you back that in no way you’ll ever believe right before your eyes.

What is the world becoming? Not honor, integrity and loyalty but lying, cheating and betraying. Maybe if one day enlightenment struck and you decide to work hard enough again for a miracle to happen, it might and integrity, loyalty and trust may be regained, but the past will still be inevitable and people will still judge you. You have no one else to blame but yourself.

Eventually all these integrity and trustworthy craps will be abolished altogether from the face of Earth..

why i don't.

The reason I don't tell people how I feel about what's going on between me and them or something is because I feel that if I do, it kind of defeats the purpose if they didn't already realise. Like the changes or problems are there and obvious. If I still have to specifically point it out to you then perhaps you're not observing hard enough but sometimes it's just impossible to keep quiet.I am reflecting on my own words.

exquisite;

Girlfriends.

Geraldine, me, Emma and Ann Li.

I super miss them greatly, tremendously.

Love ya exquisite babes! :D

CIAOS.

secret; enlighten me.

What is right is right, even if no one is doing it.

What is wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it.

I’ve told my girlfriends a secret today and I hope they keep their mouth sealed. I wouldn’t want to expose any details for now.

Why can’t a suitor be a close friend of yours when you’re so hoping him to be your close friend and nothing over extraordinary? But everything will drift apart once he guessed out part of your secret. I’m so guilty, yet at the same time I'm hoping our friendship wouldn’t fall apart.

It’s about soon that all this answers is going to be unwrap and I’m feeling so upset and troubled. I still wish you wouldn’t put down this friendship though I know you certainly didn’t want just a friendship between us. But I probably can't.

Someone please enlighten me. My versions is blurred.

Sup;

Hi guys,

Imma inside the MRT now using my macbook pro at Bugis and it’s already 9.05am! Gonna be slighty late for class.

I can’t post the stuff I’m writing now, as there is currently no Internet connection in the MRT. I will wait till I get to school and access to Internet and post what I’m wirting now on to my blog.

Geraldine and Emma is visiting our school today for their CCA while go meet us. I super miss them especially Geraldine. Her laughters and hyperness certainly makes us in a cheerful mood too!

How I wish everything can go back from where it started when I first enter College East, those happy times just merely seems to fade away that quickly when only 7 months had passed. I miss those times loads but such memories will only be kept in my memory.

Today we’re going to have our pitching again, it seems like everything had gone back to the past but it hadn’t at all. The only thing that’s making me bothered is I’m fearful I can’t speak out and tell my story.

I need and I will have more faith in myself.

God, give me the strength.

hours of sleep.

Ello everybuddy.(:

GOODMORNIN' Kekeke !

It's getting late at night now and I can't get to bed. Sleeping late seems to be evolving to a routine for me. Tomorrow school will begin at 930 and I needa get up from bed at 715.

Hellyeah,

It's about 3 already and I left with 4 dearly pathetic hours of sleep.

Imma go sleep now!

FML.

Thoughts.

Is not that you are out of the ordinary, is just that I'm feeling very bad to overlook you when you're treating me so well. You can lie to the world, but you can't deceive me. (Y)

How should I tell you, I don't want to hurt your insubstantial heart once more boy.

I just want us to be close friends and nothing over extraordinary.

And there go, that an unexpected of me drastically change to a new person, response to you at once if I can rather that my cold character towards you in the earlier period. In fact, I am just making myself least guilty than always making you feel neglect.

And at this moment you certainly thought I have changed when I haven't.

I am troubled that you're actually getting all these wrong ideas.

:(